Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Driving- and Outsiders Look at Road Rules

The following is taken from an email my friend sent to summarizing his week long trip to visit us in Central Asia:

I did learn some important things about driving during my visit. The roadways are shared by a variety of both modern and outdated modes of transportation (foot, bike, taxi, donkey cart, bus, three wheeled scooter...) and has an interesting set of traffic guidelines. Here are some basic groundrules:

1. Don't wear a seatbelt. We are not quite sure what this part of your vehicle is meant to do, but until you find out, it's best to leave it where it is.

2. When driving, remember blindspots. Blindspots have to do with people who have no vision, and have nothing to do with motor vehicles. Since you have eyes, keep them looking straight out the windshield in front of you.

3. Make sure your horn is working and test it frequently. Honk when you pull blindly into traffic, merge lanes, cut someone off, pull a uturn in oncoming traffic, or drive on the wrong side of the road. If you haven't touched it in the last few minutes, give it a quick honk just to make sure that sucker is still working.

4. Sidewalks. Read that again, slowly this time. P a r k i n g area. There, that's better. Of course there are people here- use your horn! Pedestrians have the right to get out of the way. Sidewalks also can function as a great alternative to getting where you want to go faster that the traffic jam in the actual road.
5. Left hand turn lanes. Left hand turn lanes additionally function as the ideal point for positioning yourself to overtake the traffic stopped at the red light. If the lane is empty, scoot right in. Then when the light turns green- voila! - you can cut right back into traffic (remember the no blind spots rule and to use your horn dramatically). Blinker completely unnecessary, and a waste of time. Plus, that hand probably has a cigarette or a cell phone in it already, and it would be a shame to stop talking or texting or give up on the smoke for the sake of a little blinking light. (priorities, people. Priorities. Get them straight.)

Near accident experiences: 325. And then I stopped counting the second day.

1 comment:

Randy said...

That is hilarious!